Vayishlach – How You See The World

Parshas Vayishlach describes the birth of Binyomin, who is the twelfth and final son of Yaakov, and notably the only one of the Shevatim born in Eretz Canaan. The passuk states that during Rochel's intense labor, which would ultimately be followed by her death, the midwife informs her that this child is also a son, and Rochel names him Ben-Oni, which means the son of my affliction or mourning. However, Yaakov names him Binyomin, which means the son of my right hand, and this is the name he is called throughout the Torah.

Several questions can be raised concerning this exchange. Why does Yaakov refrain from using the name that Rochel designated for him? It would appear appropriate, considering that Rochel was his primary wife and that this was seemingly her last wish and words, for him to be called Ben-Oni. What motivates Rochel to refer to him by this name? In contrast, her other son, Yosef, is given a name that embodies hope for the future and conveys positivity. Why, then, was this son named in reference to her suffering?

What’s In a Name?

The Torah famously recounts that Yaakov buried Rochel by the roadside as they journeyed back to Eretz Canaan. The Midrash provides an explanation for Yaakov’s choice to bury her in a roadside grave rather than in the Mearas Hamachpela, explaining that he foresaw through a prophetic vision the Jewish nation’s exile to Bavel. He envisioned them passing this location, crying at Rochel’s grave, where she would intercede with Hashem for compassion towards her children, and Hashem would heed her plea and ultimately redeem the nation. This instance is not the first occasion where Yaakov experiences a prophetic vision regarding Rochel’s death and burial. It is noted that when he first encounters her, Yaakov weeps, having foreseen that he would not be buried next to Rochel.

The Alshich clarifies the name that Rochel assigned, in light of Chazal’s assertion that the arrival of a son within a family serves as a favorable omen for all members. In the event of a family member's death, the entire family experiences sorrow and it is a ‘bad’ omen for them. Consequently, the name Ben-Oni is chosen, indicating that the son born at the time of my demise should be regarded as one born posthumously, thereby rectifying the adverse implications of my passing. Yaakov names him Binyomin, signifying that he is the only one born in Eretz Canaan and, as such, does not require the 'omen' associated with being born after Rochel's death.

Neither Yaakov nor Rochel regarded this situation as a period of sadness and hopelessness. Rather, they directed their attention towards the future, converting seemingly adverse events into beneficial ones. This serves as a significant lesson for individuals on their own personal journey. As the adage suggests, a glass is perceived as both half full and half empty, depending solely on the observer's viewpoint.

The Future is How We See It

A positive mindset is vital for achieving happiness and productivity in life. Positivity within the body can trigger the release of beneficial neurochemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, and oxytocin. These neurochemicals are essential for enhancing pleasure, boosting motivation, stabilizing mood, relieving pain, and promoting social connections. To sustain a positive attitude and resist the urge to become disheartened or discouraged by the various changes that life brings, one must exert effort. There are several practical strategies to foster such an outlook. Focusing on gratitude for what one possesses, rather than being fixated on what is absent or what one desires, is essential. The more one emphasizes gratitude and the positive aspects of life, the easier it becomes to sustain a positive outlook.

One additional strategy for maintaining a positive mindset is to evaluate your progress in relation to your own past rather than comparing yourself to others. Focus on improving yourself in areas such as personal character development, spirituality, or relationships. Acquire a new skill or engage in a hobby. Always aim to enhance your personal best, as the successes of others are irrelevant to your achievements. You are judged based on your own progress, not that of others. Keeping this perspective in mind can aid in maintaining a positive attitude.

As Rochel is on the verge of death, she has the clarity to implore her family to see the birth of her final son as an auspicious sign for the entire family. Yaakov abandons the notion of burying Rochel next to him, so that the future nation will have a place to express their sorrow and plead for salvation. He regards Binyomin’s birth not as the ‘son of my affliction’, but as a considerable advantage of being the only Shevet born in Eretz Canaan. This imparts a profound lesson to us: to concentrate on the positive, to anticipate the future, and to recognize that even during times of suffering and grief, one can transform such moments into opportunities for hope and resilience.