Mishpatim – Peer Pressure: Positive or Negative?

Parshas Mishpatim outlines numerous civil laws found within the Torah. Among the mitzvos featured in this Parsha are the laws pertaining to damage, guardianship, and the protocols for lost and found items. These laws aim to establish a society characterized by honesty and ethical financial practices. Among all the mitzvos that Hashem commands the Jewish people concerning their interpersonal relations and financial matters, He designates the Law of an eved Ivri, a Hebrew slave, as the initial law. The Gemara explains that this individual is a man who has committed theft and lacks the means to compensate for his crime, leading the court to sell him as a form of debt repayment. There are numerous laws that dictate how this 'slave' should be treated. It is emphasized that one must treat him with such respect that acquiring an eved Ivri is akin to gaining a master.

The Alter of Kelm highlights a fundamental contrast between the justice system of the Torah and that of gentile courts. Reflect on the process that unfolds when an individual is arrested and convicted of theft in numerous countries today. They are placed in prisons that are populated by the lowest strata of society. Most offenders who enter the prison system tend to persist in their criminal behavior. They are subjected to the most detrimental influences. The nature of their imprisonment is primarily punitive, offering little to no opportunity for rehabilitation. In stark contrast, the Torah exhibits great care regarding the fate of the thief. He is sold to a family that will welcome him and treat him with dignity and respect. This experience allows him to learn the value of prioritizing the welfare of others over his own self-interest. Such consequences are designed to facilitate his rehabilitation and ultimately enable him to reintegrate into society as a productive member.

True For All Ages

One of the principles that this mitzvah highlights is the phenomenon of peer pressure. Peer pressure is the influence, whether direct or indirect, that a peer group has on individuals, motivating them to modify their attitudes, values, or behaviors to align with the group. This concept takes the adage, "When in Rome, do as the Romans," to its logical extreme. Any teenager or their parents will attest that the need for conformity and acceptance is critically important. As young adults seek to carve out their identities, they naturally turn to their peers to discern what behaviors are deemed acceptable or unacceptable. Establishing a sense of belonging and maintaining a social circle is vital for these young individuals.

The phenomenon of peer pressure does not cease upon reaching adulthood. Often underestimated, adult peer pressure represents a considerable and continuous influence that manifests as a compulsion to conform within professional environments, social groups, or familial contexts. This can lead to unhealthy behaviors, financial stress, or emotional turmoil, including feelings of guilt and low self-esteem. It is often more subtle than during youth, characterized by implicit and unvoiced pressures to fit in, to 'keep up with the Joneses,' or to conform to the lifestyles of others.

Who is in Your Circle?

Nevertheless, like many aspects of life, peer pressure, despite its negative reputation, is not inherently bad or good. An individual who associates with those exhibiting negative and harmful behaviors is likely to adopt such behaviors themselves. As noted earlier, a thief who is imprisoned with other criminals will attempt to adapt to his surroundings. He quickly discovers that might makes right, and the more intimidating one is, the more authority one wields. According to statistics published by the Prison Policy Initiative, the recidivism rate for property theft approaches 90%. Are these individuals genuinely satisfied in prison that they would wish to return for a second, third, or even fourth time? The unfortunate reality is that most of these individuals gravitate back to the same peer group that led to their offenses before their apprehension. The impact of their peer group remains unchanged. Sadly, it only worsens.

On the other hand, an individual with a constructive peer group is more likely to seek conformity with the positive actions of those surrounding them. Of course, individuals have the liberty to opt for negative behaviors and engage in actions that are detrimental to themselves and others. Nonetheless, peer influence exerts a significant impact on an individual. Why do students behave in a composed and courteous manner in some classes while being disruptive and rude in others? Again, the prevailing culture within the classroom has a profound effect on behavior.

Hashem desires the best for all individuals. Even those who have committed theft and violated the laws of civilized society are afforded the chance to engage in positive social interactions. The Torah utilizes the advantageous side of peer pressure to assist in the reformation of such individuals. The first step towards a productive society is recognizing that we are all both influencers and influenced. We are all subject to the effects of peer pressure. A person who becomes part of a positive social group can profoundly impact those around them in a life-altering way.