Shelach – Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

How you are seen

When the spies return from scouting out the land of Canaan, they report to Moshe and the nation all that they saw. They end the report by saying they saw giants who were the sons of giants. The spies, however, add one more point. “We were in our own eyes as grasshoppers, and so we were in their eyes.” According to the Midrash, the spies recognized that they were viewed as grasshoppers, as they had overheard the giants claiming that they had seen grasshoppers in the trees that resembled humans.

It is significant to highlight that the spies remarked, "We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes," and thereafter mentioned that we were perceived as grasshoppers in their view. The Netziv shares a captivating perspective on human nature. When they said, “And we were like grasshoppers in our eyes,” they articulated the sentiment that our hearts sank, which is a sign to us that we will not conquer them. Similar to King Shaul, whose heart was filled with fear of the Pillishtim, and when fear entered his heart, it was a sign that he would not be successful. The fact that they saw themselves as tiny in stature made them seem small to others.

Thoughts – Beliefs – Behavior - Results

This psychological phenomenon is called the theory of self-fulfilling prophecy. Self-fulfilling prophecies are based on an internal belief or expectation that influences an individual's actions, causing the initial belief or expectation to become reality. This outcome is independent of whether the belief is accurate or not. A person who lacks self-confidence typically expects that their efforts will not succeed. In contrast, a person with high self-confidence tends to believe they will achieve success.

The concept of self-belief significantly affects the actions and outcomes of the individual; it also shapes the perceptions of those around them. A self-confident individual earns the respect of those in their vicinity. People are often attracted to such individuals, as they regard them as knowledgeable due to their confidence. People see them as they see themselves.

The Missing Confidence

Upon entering the land, they observed colossal fruits, heavily fortified cities, and giants, which caused their confidence to falter. Hashem caused the local inhabitants to perish, enabling the spies to go unnoticed. However, with their confidence already in decline, they interpreted the deaths as the land devouring its inhabitants. Their confidence plummeted, and they began to regard themselves as insignificant, akin to a group of grasshoppers attempting to challenge the inhabitants. As a result, the people of the land came to see them as they saw themselves, mere grasshoppers resembling humans.

There is a notion among Kashrus supervisors that when overseeing an event in a hotel, one should inspect not only the kitchen, but the adjacent areas as well, behaving as if one belongs there, which would lead the staff to regard them with greater seriousness. This principle could have averted the decline of the Jewish Nation in the Desert. Consider the possibility of them altering their mental perspective. The scenario might have transpired as follows. The spies would enter the land knowing Hashem assured them of His protection. They would gaze in wonder at the colossal fruits that awaited their arrival. They would have savored the prospect of inheriting cities already constructed and fortified. They might have even exchanged jokes with one another, proclaiming, 'Our Hashem is greater than their giants.'

Bringing Self-concept into Proper Focus

The formation of an individual's self-worth occurs through various avenues. From infancy, a parent's interaction, or the absence thereof, plays a crucial role in determining how an infant will subconsciously view themselves. As children grow, their peers and other influential figures, including educators and coaches, greatly affect their self-image. When these relationships are emotionally nurturing, a positive self-concept can flourish naturally. Sadly, many children are subjected to influences that hinder this positive development. What strategies can one employ to transcend a negative self-image formed over many years?

The first step in the journey of change, particularly in developing a positive self-concept, is to be patient with oneself. Just as constructing and completing a physical structure demands significantly more time than its demolition, a human being, being a far more complex entity, will also require time for transformation and reconstruction. Moreover, an individual needs to recognize and celebrate small successes, using these accomplishments to generate momentum towards greater successes. Documenting every commendable and constructive act a person engages in during the day, while intentionally omitting negative behaviors, can assist in enhancing their self-worth. This approach does not imply the dismissal of inappropriate conduct. Generally, individuals with a negative self-perception do not need help remembering their failures. The objective of this record is to allow the individual to conduct a nightly assessment of their positive successes. Gradually, they will start to view themselves more positively, understanding that they are more than their negative actions.

We Are Not Grasshoppers

Rav Meilech Biderman, drawing from the Sfas Emes, articulates that, as noted earlier, the tragic failure of the spies was a result of their negative self-perception. Although Hashem is often forgiving of various human transgressions, He could not pardon them for perceiving themselves in such a diminished manner. The spies were 12 of the most prominent figures from the most exceptional nation, yet they failed to recognize their inherent greatness. The inhabitants of the land viewed them through the same lens of self-perception. This was deemed inexcusable, and the repercussions would be swift and severe.

When passing by a building still under construction, the architect and builders do not remark, "This incomplete structure is quite unattractive; who would be interested in buying it or even paying a portion of the asking price? They envision the final product, looking forward to the splendid edifice that will stand upon the project's completion. While a person is alive, they are akin to a construction project. Day by day and action by action, each is a further step in the magnificent structure that will constitute their life and legacy. Each individual should perceive themselves as the person they aspire to be. A person must assert, "I am not a trivial grasshopper. I am a giant of spirit." Only then can the world acknowledge them as the giant they are in the process of becoming.