Ki Seitzei – The Debt of Gratitude

In Parshas Ki Seitzei, the Torah cautions the Jewish people that individuals from the nations of Ammon and Moav are forever barred from marrying into the Jewish people. The Torah elucidates that this prohibition is because, "they did not greet you with bread and water during your journey out of Egypt." Harav Yosef Bechor Shor remarks that it was their duty (the nations of Amon and Moav) to extend a welcome, given that Avraham, our forefather, raised Lot in his home, rescued him from captivity, and saved him from chaos. Such a display of ingratitude disqualifies any man from these nations from marrying into the Jewish People for all eternity.

Let us compare this with the laws outlined in the Torah that relate to the Egyptian nation. A few verses later, the Torah instructs, "You shall not abhor an Egyptian, for you were a foreigner in his land." Rashi provides insight into the reasoning behind the ban on despising Egyptians, indicating that they were your hosts in times of need (during the reign of Yosef when neighboring lands experienced famine). therefore, even though they have sinned against you, and attempted to annihilate you, do not entirely reject them, but they are required to wait three generations before marrying into the Jewish people.

Behaviors and Attitudes

The disparity between these two laws is quite bewildering. The Egyptian nation engaged in a far more grievous offense against the Jewish people. They enslaved them, cast their sons into the Nile, and subjected them to unimaginable torture. Indeed, the nations of Ammon and Moav failed to reciprocate the kindness extended to them by our Patriarch Avraham, yet can this be considered a graver offense against the Jewish people than the transgressions committed by the Egyptians? Should the severity of the consequence not be proportional to the brutality of the crime?

Through these verses, the Torah underscores the importance of gratitude. An individual has the capacity to change their behavior. While this transformation demands considerable effort and commitment, it is indeed possible. On the other hand, an individual who fails to recognize and express gratitude is fundamentally opposed to Jewish values. Therefore, the Egyptians must endeavor for three generations to eradicate the behaviors instilled by their ancestors that prevent them from joining Hashem’s nation. In comparison, the nations of Amon and Moav have fostered in their descendants a disregard for acknowledging the good done for them. This mindset is fundamentally incompatible with joining Hashem’s Holy nation.

The Greatness of Gratitude

In addition to the spiritual significance of gratitude, numerous studies indicate a strong link between gratitude, contentment, and success. Geoffrey James, in an article featured on Inc.com, notes, "Those who approach life with gratitude are consistently aware of the wonderful things in their lives. Their enjoyment of their successes encourages them to pursue further achievements. Additionally, when circumstances do not unfold as anticipated, grateful individuals can place failure in the proper context." As the saying goes, success breeds success. Individuals who are grateful for their previous and current achievements tend to draw in other successful individuals and favorable situations. They radiate a positive energy that others wish to engage with, both personally and professionally.

Individuals who refuse to show appreciation are often challenging to engage with. They tend to be discontented and resentful, even when circumstances favor them. They look for any opportunity to emphasize the negative, even in positive scenarios, always bracing for an impending downfall. Just as appreciative individuals serve as magnets for those with similar perspectives, ungrateful and unhappy individuals attract others of the same disposition. They draw in others who are also ungrateful and unhappy, resulting in the continuation of an unhealthy and unproductive life pattern.

Gratitude as the Purpose of Creation

The Torah is not just a mere enumeration of laws that includes the consequences for either violating or observing them. It is, in essence, a manual for living. The Midrash informs us that the world was brought into existence for the sake of Bikkurim, the first fruits. The Sefer Hachinuch articulates that the goal of this Mitzvah is for a person to acknowledge and thank Hashem for all their blessings. The Torah asserts that being thankful is not simply a favorable attitude, it is, in fact, the very reason for the world's creation.

This provides insight into the Torah's expectation for us to permit Egyptians to marry into the Jewish People. Despite the immense suffering they inflicted upon us, we must remain grateful for their role in allowing us to take refuge in their land, during the famine. Our sense of indebtedness necessitates this allowance. In contrast, the nations of Ammon and Moav have severed their ties to the world's purpose, thereby excluding themselves from the possibility of joining the nation of Hashem, the Creator of the world.