Devarim – Accepting and Growing from Consequences

Parshas Devarim opens with Moshe's reprimand and censure of the Jewish People for their sins in the Desert. He recounts their actions that provoked Hashem's anger and the repercussions that ensued in the Desert due to their wrongdoings. Chazal established that Parshas Devarim is always read on Shabbos Chazon, the Shabbos preceding Tisha B'Av. Tisha B'Av, the most mournful day in the Jewish calendar, marks the day when Hashem imposed consequences upon the Jewish people for their sins. Initially, in the desert, they sinned with the spies, and ultimately, this day marks the destruction of the Temples and the onset of a prolonged and painful exile.

While it is true that consequences can be either positive or negative, Parshas Devarim and the Nine Days certainly evoke images of negative consequences. In Birkas Hamazon, which is recited after eating bread, Hashem is referred to as "Hatov U’Meitiv," the Good and the bestower of Good. However, someone contemplating the two thousand years of exile that have afflicted His people may understandably ask, ‘Where is this goodness?’ This question can arise on both a national and a personal level. We live in a world rife with pain and suffering. While we ultimately understand that Hashem has a Master Plan for every occurrence in this world, one must endeavor to discern the messages Hashem is sending and the objectives they are meant to achieve.

Who Needs Consequences?

A person, from a young age, learns that touching a hot burner is painful and therefore understands not to touch it. If this person later touches a hot burner, no one will say they were being punished for it. It is simply a natural consequence of touching something hot. This principle applies to all areas of life. Consequences, when utilized properly, can facilitate the learning process.

The obstacle that a significant number of individuals confront is figuring out how to respond and move beyond the pain of consequences. More importantly, it involves understanding how to utilize consequences, even those that are negative or painful, to one’s benefit. The first action is to evaluate whether the consequence arises from something that lies within the individual’s control. This process requires time and a commitment to honesty. An individual must be prepared to acknowledge responsibility for their actions and accept the outcomes. For instance, when someone receives a speeding ticket, many are quick to blame the police officer or offer excuses for their behavior, often feeling frustrated with the city for the financial burden that the fine entails. However, an honest person will first admit their fault and pay the fine. The next step would be to exercise greater caution and adhere to traffic regulations. This serves as a means to transform the consequence into a beneficial life lesson.

Bumper Bowling

The acceptance of consequences as a tool for growth can be compared to bowling with bumpers. The purpose of bumpers is to nudge the ball straight. If a person were to roll a soft fruit down the lane, the fruit would get to the end of the lane; however, it would be full of nicks and bruises. Yet, without the bumpers, the fruit would fall into the gutter and be lost. Our lives and our actions as we ‘roll’ down the lane of life often do not stay in a perfect line. We sometimes veer off course. Consequences may leave us with nicks and bruises, but ultimately, they serve as the bumpers to our lives. Nudging us straight to make it to the finish line of life with success.

This period of the year prompts us to reflect on the repercussions of our actions, both personally and historically, on a national scale. We should remain aware that Hashem is the guiding force, gently nudging us, like the bumpers in a bowling alley, in the right direction. Hashem, the ‘Tov Umeitiv’ desires what is best for us. The consequences we experience are not intended to be destructive; instead, they are meant to facilitate our successful journey to the finish line. If we can confront the imperfections and difficulties in life with honesty and take proactive steps to mitigate them, we will find ourselves living happier and more satisfying lives.